A framework for choosing

Bookmark this essay for the next time you ask 'what should I do?'

Sending this email out again, because the initial version had some terrible typos. Don’t be like me. Wait till you’ve properly woken up before writing a newsletter :)

TLDR

Having to make critical decisions about your life can be paralysing. Yet, I’d argue that with the framework I share in this letter, choosing should become easier, even if you’re faced with a myriad of choices.

“Should I move to another country? Should I change careers? Should I rent this house? Should I ….. ?" The choice that would be most optimal for you all comes down to four things:

• Does the choice align with the season of life are you in?

• Does the choice align with what is most important to me right now?

• Does the choice align with what you’re currently optimizing for?

• If still not sure, how can you try things out in a low-risk way?

Some unnecessary amebo

Normally, I come here to share random thoughts or to discuss the sometimes bizarre, heartbreaking, audacious, or adventurous events in my life. However, let’s try something different today?

*Wears the serious Linda cap!

If there’s one thing people who have come in contact with me have corroborated over time, it’s that I am a great listener and I give great advice. Now, this is doesn’t negate the fact that, half the time, I’m looking for an item while holding it in my hands.

Two weeks ago, Ama called me around 9:30 pm but I didn't answer. He then texted me on WhatsApp, "Hey Linda, are you free? I'd like to talk about something and I need your advice." I replied, "I just got back from the gym and I'm about to take a shower. Can we text or use voice notes instead?" Then he responded with, "I have two opportunities in front of me...which should I go for?", and proceeded to describe both opportunities. The advice I gave him is the subject of this essay.

Time and time again, people approach me with different queries similar to the conversation I had with Ama. Stuff like “I’m confused, what should I do next?”, “I don’t know where to go from here, what should be my next move?”, “Should I work for this client?”, “How much should I charge?”. In every instance, my advice is always same as what I told Ama, albeit sometimes expressed differently. I also observed that it's the same framework I instinctively use when faced with making a decision.

Yesterday, someone asked me a similar question, which inspired me to write this letter today. I woke up this morning — fuelled with the anger of watching Nigeria loose to Cote d’Ivoire live — to put pen to this framework. So, here goes nothing.

And yes, you’re welcome.

How to figure out your next move when you’re faced with conflicting options.

For every choice you have to make, here are some questions I suggest thinking through to help you gain clarity:

1. What season of life are you in?

As stated in Ecclesiastes chapter 3 of the Christian Bible, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: ...a time to plant and a time to reap, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build ...". Understand what season you're in, and choose the options that enable you give to each season what it requires. Don't reap when you should be planting.

As a young person without any responsibilities, you can afford to take significant risks, focus intensely on a project, or aggressively improve your skills. However, as you age and perhaps decide to settle down, this ability may diminish. It might be time to slow down. Make sure to make the most of each season in life.

2. What is most important to you right now?

Is it freedom? Ample family time? Minimal commitment? Personal learning? Or ownership? Choose the option that aligns most with what's important to you at the current phase of your life.

3. What are you optimising for?

If I had a dollar for every time someone has asked me, unsolicited, “Linda, what are you still doing in this country? Why have you not relocated?”, I’d be back in Madonna’s San Pedro island, sipping margarita on a hammock, while watching ocean waves crash into each other.

Without fail, my answer is always: “relocating does not align with what I’m optimising for right now”. For this phase of my life, I’m optimising for the biggest paycheck I can get while doing something I’m good at, and can tolerate.

The goal is to gather the financial foundation that will allow me make the more audacious bets I would need to make in the next phase of my life. Therefore, I do not mind jobs that require me to work work 15 hours a day. I’m doing it as long as the paycheck is heavy.

This single guideline has influenced every single career choice I’ve made for the last 5 years. Two years from now, I’ll be optimising for ownership, curiosity and experimentation, and my choices will change.

So, figure out which of the options align with what you’re currently optimising for and roll with it.

4. How can you try things out in a low-risk way?

Suppose you've asked yourself all the previous questions, but are still uncertain. Perhaps your options are all beneficial in different ways, with neither being inherently superior. In such a case, the best approach is to find a way to experiment with each option in a low-risk manner before making a full commitment.

Can you try volunteering in that capacity? Or maybe take a class? Or do a personal project on it?

For example, recently, I sat down with Corry Root, Senior Technical Writer at Mongo DB, to chat about how she came to settle on her career choice. For all of her stories, the themes of low-risk trial and experimentation echoed loudly.

In high school, she discovered her passion for writing but was unsure in what capacity it could be applied. To explore further, she pursued an English Major in college and experimented with various minors, including creative and technical writing. She found herself leaning towards technical writing but wanted to validate her interest before committing to a full-time role. To do this, she took on an almost unpaid technical writing internship. It was during this internship that she confirmed her passion for this field and decided to pursue it as a career.

Later on, she developed an interest in UX design and considered a career switch. Instead of making an immediate transition, she enrolled in a master's program while retaining her current job, as her company offered tuition reimbursement. After completing her master's, she realized that while she had gained valuable knowledge, UX design did not excite her as much as technical writing.

What if you end up not making the right choice?

I like to say that there are no right choices, just tradeoffs.

Every choice comes with a tradeoff. If you're comfortable with the tradeoff attached to your selected choice, then you've arguably made the right choice. Make tradeoffs you can live with.

Rest assured, whatever choice you make all goes into making you who you are. Nothing is never wasted when it comes to acquiring knowledge, experience, or skills.

As Steve Jobs said as part of a certain graduation speech (paraphrased): “ You can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So, you just have to believe that the dots will connect somehow … Because believing that the dots will connect will give you the confidence to make peace with the tradeoffs you’ve chosen”.

And if it helps, if you do make the wrong decision, it's okay to change course when you realize. It’s okay to board another flight. Nothing is set in stone.

Till I write you next time,

How are your new year resolutions going :)

Love, your favourite internet auntie.